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Love Bomber: What it is and how to Know if you are Dating One

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When you meet someone new, you enjoy the feeling of excitement, fun and being swept off your feet; you experience affection, care, admiration, and love in a different way. The feeling is exhilarating, and you wouldn’t wish for its end. 

However, this feeling is normal and happens to everyone when they start a new relationship, but it is different from love bombing. When your partner starts to move at a pace you can barely keep up with, and they tend to take things too seriously at a very early stage, you should be cautious because you might be dating a love bomber. 

Continue with this guide to find out what love bombing is and how to know if you are dating a love bomber. 

What is Love Bombing? 

Love bombing can be described as an emotional manipulation used by people to gain control over their partners. They shower their partners with excessive attention and affection in the early stages of their relationships. Some people might not see this as a challenge, but a love bomber can be overly deceptive and usually do things to satisfy an ulterior motive. 

How to Know if you are Dating a Love Bomber? 

At this point, you might be curious and trying to figure out if you have a love bomber for a partner. No need to stress; here are 10 signs to know if you are dating a love bomber. Also, don’t be surprised you might be one yourself. 

They Want Your Undivided Attention 

Attention is something partners should freely give to each other to stay happy, but no matter how much you love your partner, you will have time for your private life and businesses. However, a love bomber would want your constant attention regardless of the situation. They want you to always be with them, pick up the phone immediately they call and might not even want you to converse with others while you are with them. 

They Bombard you With Texts and Calls

Communication is vital for a relationship to thrive, and it is normal for couples to keep in touch constantly. However, when communication feels one-sided and overwhelming, it becomes a problem. 

For example, you see your partner almost every day, and you still get calls and texts countless times a day, even messages on social media, without anything new to discuss. This is a good sign that you are love bombed, and with time, you will feel too suffocated and overwhelmed. 

You Feel Overwhelmed by Their Intensity 

They are always proactive and unpredictable with you, and they never turn down the charm. Also, you might feel pressured to always meet up and go to various places they think you would love to see and visit. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but a partner that tries to please you 24/7 might not be real. True love is respectful, gentle and kind but not overbearing and decisive. 

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They Make you Feel Guilty for Having Boundaries 

A love bomber can easily guilt trip you or get upset when you set boundaries in your relationship. Like telling them, they are moving too fast with the relationship or saying you are not ready for certain things. They may accuse you of not loving them enough or not taking them seriously, and then you hear things like, ” I thought we had something special’’, or ‘’I thought you said you loved me.’’ 

They Quickly Become who They Think you Want

Everyone has fantasies of their dream partners, but almost everyone knows that it is impossible to get a person just as perfect as you imagined. People have flaws, so they can only be close to how you want them to be. A love bomber, in some cases, might deliberately try to become your perfect match, especially if you have had such discussions in the past. 

They tend to agree to everything you want and start to act exactly how you want your partner to be. Finding someone that is everything you have dreamed of is nice, but a love bomber is not that person because they put up a false behavior and might go back to their real self anytime. 

They go Overboard With Expensive and Inappropriate Gifts

Expensive and unnecessary gifts are a love bomber’s first and most prominent signs. For example, they buy dozens of bouquets when just one would have been enough, paying for a full cinema hall, expensive plane tickets for vacations, etc.

These things are beautiful and can make everyone smile when they are done once in a while, but when it is unnecessary, too frequent and your partner never takes no for an answer, it is most likely you are dating a love bomber. 

You Feel Unbalanced 

Love bombing goes hard and fast, and the feeling can feel intoxicating at first, but you will quickly start to feel anxious and uncomfortable. You should be careful when your partner is moving too fast before getting to know you fully, and also pay attention to your intuition rather than get carried away by the love-bombing gestures.

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They Demand Commitment

When you date a love bomber, you might feel pressured and rushed into making big plans for your future together. They want to move in together ASAP and discuss marriage when you have not even taken time to know each other better. 

It takes time to understand a person, and you also need time to build trust and commitment in a relationship, so it is very unlikely for a person to be 100% sure about you in just two days, two weeks, or two months. 

They Compliment you Excessively

Everyone loves to receive compliments and admiration, and a person that truly loves you would not fail to be generous with it. However, when your partner constantly compliments you excessively, it can be a course for alarm. Love bombers use this tactic to control their partners’ self-worth and self-esteem, such that their opinions would determine how their partners see and value themselves. 

They are too Needy

A love bomber would never be satisfied with the time and attention you give them, they always want more, and they get upset whenever you decide to do anything for yourself that doesn’t involve them.

You will find yourself bailing on friends and family and giving your all to your partner when you are only just dating. This is because they can’t stand to be alone, making you feel indebted to them for all the expensive things they have given you. So you are always at their beck and call because you can’t match what they gave you. 

A relationship like this can be toxic, and I’m a short time, you will begin to feel drained and suffocated, and you will realize you no longer have friends, and your partner becomes the only one constantly around you. 

Why is it Dangerous to Date a Love Bomber? 

Love bombing is dangerous even though it seems like a minor issue now; with time, it can wreak severe emotional and mental turmoil on a person considering the fact that the person showering you with so much addictive attention and care can suddenly disappear from your life. 

When someone gives you so much in a relationship, you will naturally feel like you have to reciprocate their efforts, and you try to give equal or greater in return by giving your dedication, loyalty, time, love, commitment and all to this person. After neglecting the red flags, you will become hooked, and your partner will gain total control over your mind and body. 

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Many love bombers just want to satisfy their ego, and at this stage, they have already achieved that, so they may begin to withdraw and suddenly start acting differently, and most of them walk away from the relationship leaving their partners shattered, but they also know they can return at any time due the control they have over their partners. 

This whole circle is dangerous and extremely detrimental to a person’s mental health, so if you notice that you are dating a love bomber, no matter the stage you have gotten to, you should do your best to rectify the situation. 

What to do if you are Love-Bombed 

If you ever find yourself in a relationship with a love bomber, you should be straightforward about it and set clear and healthy boundaries, like you can limit the time you spend with them, refuse unnecessary gifts, do only the things you want to do and make them understand that you want to take things slowly. Also, remember that you are always free to walk away from the relationship if they refuse to respect your opinions and decisions. 

Furthermore, in situations like this, you must not neglect the place of friends and family in your life, spend as much time with them as you usually do, and you can also try to confide in them to hear their honest opinions. 

Also read: What to do When you Feel no Emotional Connection With Your Husband

Love bombing is a manipulative tactic which often turns unhealthy and heartbreaking. The most important thing is to assess your relationship and find out if you are love-bombed because most people fail to do this until it is too late. Take note of your partner’s behaviour, if they are making the relationship move too quickly, you should set boundaries and take things slow. 

Due to the overwhelming feeling of excitement and affection at the beginning of a relationship, most people would not even notice when they are being love-bombed. So when you meet someone new, you should be careful to see the red flags and don’t get carried away by their intense display of love. 

 

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