It’s common to hear these words from a nagging husband: “Why don’t you ever dispose of the trash daily?” “When are you going to spend real time with me?” “You said you were going to the grocery store!” “Why are you staring at me?”
Generally, having a nagging husband could result in losing respect and love in a marriage. It deters the relationship and could be the genesis of resentment for poor treatment in marriage. A nagging husband is a demonstration of a sad inequality in marriage.
To learn more about nagging, the signs of having a nagging husband, and how to help him quit nagging, continue reading this article; we’ll get into it soon.
What is Nagging, And Who is a Nagging Husband?
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, Nagging (of a person) means to regularly annoy or find fault with another person. You can have a nagging parent, husband or wife. Synonyms of nagging include criticizing, complaining, fault-finding, grumbling, carping, scolding and being shrewish.
Nagging (of feeling) can also mean being persistent and worrying.
You don’t want to have a nag as a husband; it’s best described as a bone in the throat for as long as the situation persists.
Nagging is a nasty attitude, and it can breed negativity or bitterness in any form of relationship. It is unhealthy and unpleasant and must be fixed if possible. Otherwise, it will destroy the marriage and further lead to divorce. A nagging husband is like a constant drip on a rainy day; so irritating!
Nagging is characterized by constantly reminding your partner to do something annoyingly. It is a toxic silent killer in marriage and unhealthy behavior in any relationship. A nagging husband excavates issues or unresolved disputes from the past or reiterates questions as a not-so-simple way of reminding his wife to do something.
Sometimes, nagging can be defined by the person on the receiving end and their tolerance for being asked to do some things; even a straightforward request of someone can be perceived as nagging. However, nagging is persistently requesting someone to do something.
You also have persistent thoughts that you can’t put to rest. The repetition level is what makes it nagging.
Fortunately, most people don’t nag unless they feel unheard, taken for granted, overworked, or devastated. If someone has to repeatedly remind their partner to take responsibility and play an equal role in the relationship, the hurt is already there, and unless something changes, the relationship has the potential to grow increasingly toxic or fall apart entirely.
Nagging is usually a symptom of chronic unequal effort from the one being nagged, unrealistic expectations from the one doing the nagging, or a combination of these. Well, aside from the one-sided anxiety that the other partner would feel, nagging is a simply childish act but most probably part of mediocre parenting.
10 Signs You Have a Nagging Husband
More than 40% of women and 60% of men acknowledge that nagging leads to less frequent and satisfying sex. It has severe repercussions for a relationship or marriage. Check out these ten signs to determine if your husband is a nag.
A nagging husband;
- Uses words or phrases that are blaming
When he uses the ‘you’ statements to communicate with you all the time, he probably is a nag. For example (the rice cooker is faulty because of you). I mean, the fault could have been from the company! If your husband does this frequently, then he might be a nag.
2. He is unreasonably bossy. A nagging husband never acknowledges his wife when she does something right or extraordinary. Sometimes he can even go as far as making bad jokes about her in front of the kids or his friends. Ugh! Don’t tell me your husband does this too!
3. He complains about something repeatedly. He repeatedly complains about how you apply the toothpaste on your toothbrush or why your body smells the way it is, or even complains about the way your last dish tasted until now. He can go on and on about it for days. That’s what a nagging husband does!
4. Behaves like a parent to his wife
In a marriage, couples should see one another as friends and make decisions together rather than the husband instructing his wife to do it. It is not a parent-children relationship where parents order their children around on what to do without considering their opinions. A nagging husband behaves like a parent to his wife.
5. He always wants to be in control of everything
Generally, people who try to control everything around them often put a significant burden on their partner to act in a certain way or do things in a specific manner. It can be nagging to the other partner.
6. He believes that he is always correct
If you have a nag as a husband, he would always claim to be correct even when he’s not. Nags tend to be egoistic and won’t want to take corrections from anyone. No one can correct him: they assume themselves as perfect beings!
7. He doesn’t care whether or not his wife is hurt and doesn’t respect his wife
He only focuses on his wife’s faults and does not care about her feelings. This kind of person is numb to his wife’s feelings. It is outright nagging!
8. Constantly gives instructions
Giving instructions to your wife means you’re telling her what to do because you don’t trust her judgment. It’s a telltale sign of nagging.
9. He is not contented with anything his wife does
Nothing you do to him or for him pleases him. There’s always a problem. Nags can’t be contented or satisfied.
10. He acts up unnecessarily
Little things make him act out against his wife. If your husband portrays all these signs, then he is a nag. You, as a wife, should not adjust to it. This behavior needs to be addressed because it can destroy your marriage.
Nagging Husband: How Can It Affect Your Marriage?
Nagging affects marriage in the following ways; I bet if you’ve not started experiencing it!
- Nagging can make you, his wife, feel insecure. Apart from that, a nagging husband is usually unsatisfied with the relationship. This feeling can make the other person (wife) feel like the love is not worth it.
- It can nurture hostility and negativity in the marriage. One partner (the nag) could feel resentful because they need to nag, while the other (who listens to the nagging) could feel discouraged and incompetent.
- Excessive nagging can cause anger problems in the wife since she’s at the receiving end. It can also stimulate feelings of self-loathing and cause a reduction in self-esteem.
- Nagging habits topple over good communication in relationships and lead both partners to lose respect for one another, which can significantly impact a decrease in intimacy.
- Continuous nagging causes a change of perception between couples. It makes one partner see the other as a source of stress and threat. In that case, they both stop responding and slowly drift apart.
- Nagging severely affects the person being nagged because when it happens frequently, you could start developing self-doubt and feel unworthy and not good enough due to what you have been hearing about yourself.
- Nagging can become a primary contributor to separation or divorce when couples begin quarrelling about the nagging instead of discussing the problem at the origin of the nagging. They are likely to split up.
- Current analysis has indicated that nagging is related to hundreds of unwanted demises yearly. The analysis indicates that wives who tolerate nagging from their husbands were more than two times more prone to death within ten years than those with less burdensome marriages.
How to Help a Nagging Husband to Quit Nagging
Anyone can be a nag as there must be a logical reason for a person to do so. Sometimes it takes a listening ear to stop nagging. You could stop him from nagging by doing what he asked you to do the first time, so he doesn’t have to ask again.
In a relationship, communication is critical. And you, as a wife, can sit with your husband to address this issue. You both should talk about it and arrive at a conclusion. Ask him what you can do to make him less of a nag and do at least some of those things. Some people nag because they’re trying to communicate their feelings and concerns.
Other times, people don’t realize what they are doing because it’s their way of life. It needs to be addressed lovingly, even though a nag may not listen to your advice. Let them know that they nag and talk about a solution with them.
Instead of building up the wall of mutual resentment further, there should be a conversation about how to make things more equal and fair in the relationship, and all expectations should be clear. There will likely be a need for compromise on both sides.
Nagging is seen as a manipulative, lazy problem-solving skill that most men use on their vulnerable wives. However, this behavior must be treated urgently before destroying your marriage.