If you are looking for strategies for a successful conflict resolution in marriage then search no more because you have come to the perfect place where you will find the answers you are looking for. Here at Romanticstrategy, we give you the best of the best.
In truth, there is conflict in every home, because two individuals with two different backgrounds and personalities come together to become one. The main problem with conflict in a marriage is not that we are at odds with each other but rather the way we go about trying to resolve it.
Arguments and conflicts in marriage are quite normal for relationships, especially for long-term married couples. Many common conflicts in every relationship include arguments over money, intimacy, or communication. Simply put, conflict-free marriages don’t exist anywhere in the world. Experts even say that arguing can be healthy, as long as they are managed healthily and civilly.
On the opposite end, fighting with your spouse can be very toxic to your relationship. Unhealthy arguments typically result in fight response. They can also result in one partner giving in, or the silent treatment to avoid an issue. Neither of these outcomes is healthy if you’re seeking long-lasting marriage. Marital conflicts can lead to grudges, resentment, and ultimately divorce.
When faced with a difference in opinion, we may get defensive about our point of view and sometimes hurt and put the other party down in the process. This can be detrimental to any marital relationship, especially in the long run. How then can you resolve conflicts amicably with your spouse instead of fighting them over a heated argument?
Since every marriage has its ups and downs, what matters most is not avoiding them but how you deal with them. Conflict can lead to a process that develops oneness or isolation. You and your spouse must decide how you will act when conflict occurs.
Here Are 6 Strategies For A Successful Conflict Resolution In Marriage
1. Understand It’s Not All About Winning Or Being Right
If you want to resolve conflict in your marriage then you must understand that it’s not all about you being right or wrong or winning an argument and learning to give in.
One of the most common reasons for conflict in marriages is when either of the two parties is trying to win an argument or trying to be the one in the right. One must indeed say what’s right, but sometimes it is also necessary to let go of things.
When you’re involved in an argument, you’ve to take a call which is important for you, you get to choose between winning an argument and proving your point right or your relationship with the other person. If you think losing this battle will help you maintain a healthy relationship with the other person, then accept the defeat.
After all, it’s not always about proving one’s point. Giving in to your partner even when you are right means you value your relationship with them more than anything.
2. Use “I” and Not “You” Statements
Using the “I” statement can be very effective for a successful conflict resolution in marriage. When it’s time for you to share your perspective be sure to speak effectively. Using an “I” instead of “you” statement allows you to take ownership of your thoughts/feelings and minimizes your partner’s defensiveness.
Rather than saying things like, “When you come home and immediately go to bed, I feel very ignored”. You can begin your sentence with the I statement, make your statements about yourself and your feelings, something like, “I feel very ignored when you come home and immediately go to bed”. This approach is less accusatory, sparks less defensiveness, and helps the other person understand your point of view rather than feeling attacked.
3. Listen To Understand Not To Respond
This is one of the common mistakes people make and hence it is one of the important strategies for a successful conflict resolution in marriage. Mostly, when you’re in an argument, you listen to respond and do not understand. Your reflex at that point is to simply respond to the person than to understand what point they’re trying to make.
The moment you start listening to understand your spouse, things will be easy for you in your marriage. You would start seeing things from their perspective and will be able to address them easily.
4. Break The Touch Barrier
Frederic made us understand that “A physical touch is a powerful tool in a relationship, but you have to be smart about using it.” Thanks to the bonding hormone oxytocin, which is produced by physical affection, touch helps foster intimacy in a relationship. Holding hands or sitting close while discussing a problem can help ease tension during an argument for some couples.
While others might need to cool off before reconnecting, it’s important to break that touch barrier at some point when a couple has experienced conflict to avoid stonewalling and coldness in a relationship.
Read Also: How to Express Love in a Relationship
5. Focus On The Issue At Hand
Determine the underlying issue and focus on it. Many conflicts arise from a symptom of the real problem. Figure out the actual issue that’s controlling what is being said and stick with it. Sometimes, one issue that sparks conflict turns into several more issues that had nothing to do with the initial conflict. Discuss one topic at a time.
If you enter a fight with your partner, do your best to stick to the original problem. Avoid bringing up past arguments or resentments. Bringing up unrelated issues will only distract you both from finding a resolution to the current conflict. It also can make the offender feel overwhelmed or unnecessarily badgered.
6. Stay Away From People Who Try To Control Your Marriage
Avoiding people who try to control your marriage can be very helpful in conflict resolution. Sometimes when there is a misunderstanding in marriage, instead of sorting things out with your spouse with love and understanding, you’d rather listen to what your friends or a family member who isn’t interested in your happiness say.
Don’t listen to friends or family members who offer you bad advice or try to influence you for the worse. If someone tries to meddle in your marriage, tell them politely but firmly that your relationships are your own business.
Such people intend to ruin your marriage and leave you unhappy. They will never give good advice to resolve conflict in your home and save your marriage.
Conclusion
Conflict is a normal part of marriage. No matter how much you and your spouse love each other, you won’t always agree on everything. Having these occasional arguments doesn’t necessarily mean anything is wrong with your marriage, but the way you and your spouse handle your disagreements plays a big role in whether you’ll stay together until death do you part.
Healthy conflict resolution is a skill that anyone can learn. You can solve problems with your spouse by talking with each other honestly, fighting fair, and finding ways to avoid unnecessary conflicts in the future.
A successful marriage is not one without conflict, but one that requires constant respect, attention, and care. If you’ve been having communication issues with your spouse, consider these conflict resolution strategies to get back on track. Inputting these strategies into place can help you build a happy marriage filled with love and peace.
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