While dating online, it’s important to know when to ask someone out. Online dating is a great way to meet and chat with cool people and meeting people through dating apps is a whole minefield of apparent rules.
Online dating isn’t for the faint of heart or those easily discouraged. There’s the old saying that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince and that applies to online dating. In some ways, online dating is a different ballgame from meeting someone in real life and in some ways it’s not.
You typically have information about the person before you meet them. You may have read a short profile or had fairly extensive conversations via text or email.
The idea of asking someone out online especially when you are confused about when you should do it can be nerve-wracking. No matter how confident you think you are, putting yourself out there is a big risk because getting turned down hurts. Rejection is so painful that you may end up avoiding asking people out altogether or act so nonchalant and non-committal that the person you’re asking out doesn’t even know if it’s a date or not.
The good thing is, getting turned down online is better than getting turned down in real life. Ultimately, the sooner you’re off their phone and in their real life, the better.
When To Ask Someone Out – Online Dating
If you are left with the question of when to ask someone out during online dating, the answer is as soon as possible. That’s a general idea. Get their number and get off the Internet into the real world.
Ultimately, the sooner you’re off the internet and in real life, the better. People who are reasonable and attractive always attract attention, and their online dating profile is saturated with other people, all of whom are relentlessly giving them compliments. Since you haven’t met them yet, telling them how beautiful they are won’t seem genuine.
People still appreciate compliments. Make them feel good by letting them know what you like about their personality instead. You can only achieve this by being in their life for real and off the internet. By so doing, you will give yourself a better chance to be with them instead of competing with people on their profiles.
Also, boldly asking somebody out displays real confidence. Chatting for weeks without making a move would present you as someone scared and unable to take a risk on anything. Which is unattractive. You’ve got to show them you’ve got some balls.
Try not to be creepy during the time you spend with them online. Though it is advised to ask as soon as possible, if you ask them out too soon, you risk coming off as desperate. Like you can’t go another hour without the possibility of touching/feeling them or like you can’t put in any effort to woo them. This is also unattractive as well. If you come off like you’re starved for attention, they’ll wonder why. And there are very few good answers to that question.
You need to look for signs that they’re into you, that they regard you as much. And then you need to ask them out as soon as you have one of those signs of interest. Fortunately, there are a lot of signs, and they’re not particularly hard to see.
The most telling sign is when they display vulnerability and talk to you about important kinds of stuff happening in their life. Unless they’re a massive oversharer, they’re not giving everyone that pops into their DM these confessions. Telling you this stuffs means that they trust you and if they trust you enough to give you their secrets, they probably trust you enough to give you a lot more.
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Another good one is if they laugh a lot. Funny is invaluable. If you get a “you’re so funny” from someone on an online dating site or app, what that almost always means is “ask me out immediately, you’re so refreshing compared to all the humourless idiots who constantly hit on me. You’ve transcended the role of a random and potential stalker to someone more important.
While texting and it seems like you share a lot in common then go for it and ask them out. Common ground means a lot in online dating. It’s a big relief to run into someone who gets what’s going on in your brain, rather than just what might be going on in your pants. By the way, this means that you should strive to figure out what they are interested in and try to do a very convincing impression of someone interested in that.
If they are giving you compliments, that’s an extremely good sign. Whereas men give out compliments like candy canes at Christmas, women don’t give out compliments lightly, because they know that dudes are suckers for flattery. If they say that your life sounds cool, or that you’ve got a hot body, do not hesitate, to ask immediately. They are giving you the green light.
Just keep it simple. Don’t be all flowery, don’t overthink it. Rather than making it sound like a question, it’s best to put it forward as a statement, like Let’s go on a date. Will you be free on Friday? This comes off as assertive and no-B.S, but it also gives them an out if they want to take it, so it’s not creepy. Keep in mind that if they say they are busy and don’t tell you when they will be free or they don’t offer an alternate date you’re out of luck.
You need to be realistic when you’re reading these signs. If you’re lonely, it’s easy to fall into a trap where you think anybody who doesn’t immediately chase you away is interested in you. Be mindful that you haven’t necessarily piqued their interest just because they respond to your messages. Take the time to lay some charm down before you make your move.
Despite all these signs, there is still the possibility that they might say no. If that happens, don’t take it too personally. You’ve only known them for a few days or even weeks. They might have hangups or might be dealing with other things in their life. It might not always be about you.
Either way, if you do follow the signs and your heart, you have a higher chance of getting them to go out with you. So get out there and find love.
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