Thinking of how to overcome insecurity? The first step is realizing you are feeling insecure. This is not an easy feat. But there is more to insecurity than you probably think.
If you feel insecure, you may see problems where they don’t exist. For example, insecurity could fuel harmful thoughts and nurture bad habits in a romantic relationship. It could shatter your emotions and make you imagine scenarios that are unknown to you, only lived in your imaginations.
For most people, it takes a toll on their mental health and could make them hurt their partner. However, if you feel insecure in your relationship, you could end the menace while you manage the effects or try to clean up the mess it has made to your relationship.
Fortunately, that is the purpose of this article, to help you determine whether or not you are feeling insecure and learn how to overcome insecurity in your relationship.
What is Insecurity in a Relationship?
Insecurity in a relationship is the belief that you are never good enough for your partner. It makes you feel you should take drastic action to prevent a menace you are probably not seeing. As a result, you may live in a state of fear, worrying about what will happen next or even regret the past. If this describes your situation, you need not worry about how to overcome insecurity.
But first thing first, you must know the signs.
What Are the Signs of Insecurity?
If you are thinking about how to overcome insecurity in a relationship, the first thing you should watch out for are the signs. So how do you know when you or your partner begins to feel insecure in a romantic relationship?
This is a big puzzle for many, but once you know the signs, you are already a step closer to overcoming the challenge.
Even if no one can feel utterly confident in a relationship, it’s not normal to be insecure. On the contrary, it’s an unhealthy feeling that can devour your relationship faster than you think. So, here are the signs.
This is one of the apparent signs of insecurity. Like a pest feeding on its prey, envy could eat up your romantic life, leaving you with chaffs and bones that may be useless.
Jealousy could make you question your partner’s every move, become suspicious of their online and offline activities, and even attempt to spy on them.
- Attention seeking
Still, wondering how to overcome insecurity in a relationship? First, you should check if you or your partner constantly needs reassurance that all is well between you. The craving for unnecessary attention is similar to jealousy. One of the characteristics of these feelings is the fear of being alone. It’s an unhealthy habit that could ruin your relationship fast.
If your partner always wants to do things with you and even go places with you, don’t mince it. They are feeling insecure already.
If a man feels insecure, it’s common to find him picking fights or physically assaulting his partner. On the other hand, most women who feel insecure may engage in unproductive activities to get their partner’s attention or cause unnecessary drama.
- Fishing for compliments
This is common among women who feel insecure in a relationship. They seek validation to make them feel more secure. If your partner is constantly conscious about the kind of compliment you give, it may give room for insecurity. Unhealthy thoughts may easily creep in when someone thinks they need compliments to survive in a relationship.
So, what if you have seen all these signs? What should you do to overcome insecurity in a relationship?
How to Overcome Insecurity in a Relationship: 7 Proven Strategies
- Identify your triggers
To know how to overcome insecurity, you should take this first step. First, take some time to identify what makes you feel insecure. Common triggers may include low self-esteem or confidence and unpleasant experience in previous relationships.
Anytime you feel insecure, identity what caused it. This will help you know where to work to safeguard your relationship. For example, if you feel your partner is insecure, it could help you identify areas they need to work on. Then, you could discuss these areas with them, so they could work on it if they are willing to make amends in the relationship.
- Listen to your partner
Perhaps, your partner has been trying to tell you something important, but you were too insecure to listen. Therefore, listen to what they have to say. It could help you understand their perspective and feelings too.
You may be surprised that what you accused your partner of doing isn’t right. However, you could also discover more flaws in your relationship, and the best way to attract healthy conversations is just by listening.
- Stop getting angry over nothing
Just because your partner and someone of the opposite sex is partners doesn’t mean there is more to the story. They could still be “just friends.” Avoid the temptation of always snooping on their conversations or checking your partner’s phone to see their chat with someone of the opposite sex.
If you are serious about learning how to overcome insecurity in your relationship, you should cease being suspicious of their every move, whether inside or outside the home. This is one of the behaviors that could quickly become addictive and destroy whatever you have built over the years in your relationship.
- Learn to love yourself
Life could take a dramatic turn and become exciting when you fall in love, find a shoulder to lean on in times of distress, and someone to hug and kiss when you feel lonely. But before you begin your search for love, you should first learn to love yourself.
Putting your life in order, setting goals, and getting your priorities right are some of the few things that could give your relationship a great start. You could be working your butt out to fix ongoing issues in your relationship if your life is in disarray; yet, you went ahead to fall in love with someone that probably has expectations and goals for a relationship.
- Minimize your analysis
Overanalyzing is one of the habits that could prevent you from learning how to overcome insecurity. The fact is that all of the insecurities in your relationship started in your head when you began to imagine scenarios and things that didn’t exist.
And when these images spiral out of control, they give birth to insecurity. Therefore, you must stop these feelings if you want to overcome insecurity. Also, overanalyzing different scenarios and events that occur in your relationship could prevent you from putting your emotions under control during a heated argument with your partner.
- Imagine yourselves as new couples
When you started dating your partner, the energy was electrifying. You wanted to be by their side all day. You went the extra mile to please your partner and promote their interest. However, you were careful not to engage in activities or do anything that would be detrimental to the health of your relationship.
The future was bright, and you thought it would continue until insecurity crept in and stole your happiness. This may be triggered when you relax your guard and slow down on showing acts of kindness to your partner.
As a result, your partner thinks you no longer love or your attraction is fading, and they start feeling insecure. It’s easy to know how to overcome insecurity in this scenario. Ignite the old flame of love you once shared and do the kinds of stuff you both did when you first met.
Plan surprising dates, give your partner gifts, give compliments because it’s free and always assure them of your eternal love. But then, watch insecurity take a flight from your relationship and go on a long search for another victim.
- Stop worrying about what could happen next in your relationship
Most times, the only remedy to your feeling of insecurity is for you to stop stressing over the future of your relationship. When your worry too much, you can easily succumb to pressure, jump to conclusions, or even take drastic decisions that could lead to the fatal end of your relationship.
Avoid thinking of what might happen if your relationship ends. Worrying never solves problems. It only aggravates the situation and makes the circumstances look bad.
Aside from that, you can never be genuinely present in your relationship if you worry so much about its future. The growth of any romantic relationship takes the combined efforts of both parties.
Now that you know how to overcome insecurity in a relationship, what’s next? Are you prepared to avoid dwelling on your partner’s mistakes or your past relationships to avoid a self-fulfilling prophecy?
You could quickly learn how to overcome insecurity by implementing the suggestions in this guide with your partner. As the saying goes, “it takes two to tango.