Love can make you not read the signs in a toxic relationship. Love is not blind it is the lovers that are blind. An unhealthy relationship comes with several red flags but in the initial stage of the relationship, you cannot see these signs of a toxic person.
However, you can see this in an awkward manner when you are dating. It is a beautiful thing to love and be loved right back – you see things so breathtaking, you view things from a different angle and the future, of course, will be a great one.
Having great plans for the future can make you decide to not see the signs of a toxic relationship. When the glows of the relationship go away, then it would be done to you that you have been living under a cage.
The Initial Signs in a Relationship
Some of the red flags in courtship do not really hide is just that you are too intoxicated in love to see and notice it. The worst person to advise is the person in love.
Knowing what takes place in a toxic relationship is vital just like a healthy relationship. Some of the red flags in a relationship are seen clearly by the significant other but the mindset of s/he will change keeps giving you hope and boom the person becomes worst.
There are some red flags that can be handled on time if well communicated vividly before the toxicity comes in.
If you do not realize the signs of a toxic relationship, you and your love birds may not get the desired therapies that you need to glow.
In other not to allow an unhealthy courtship to become a regular benchmark, address the unhealthy signs as it shows.
What is a toxic relationship?
A toxic relationship is something that affects your day-to-day life, physically, socially, and emotionally in an unhealthy manner. A toxic relationship can be seen as insecurity, domineering, over-controlling, loneliness, and a lack of communication kind of attitude from one or the two partners.
A toxic relationship is one that will not allow you to grow, doesn’t support your growth, and doesn’t give you, peace of mind. It also breaks your self-esteem and reduces your worth.
An unhealthy relationship rubs you off your self-care – is a necessity in every relationship to keep you glowing. Self-care protects your values and makes you see the need to care for your other partners and others.
When the other partner neglects the energy of the other party, it wages you down, turning all your effort into the tin air.
A toxic relationship reduces your self-worth, and your peace, and makes you think that is how every relationship is. You see the shadow of yourself because you are being denied your values, with a broken heart.
No matter how you love that person, s/he will not see anything good in the relationship – a toxic person is a toxic person regardless.
The aim of every relationship is companionship, true love, support, happiness, and friendship – if all of this is been neglected then it is a red flag.
In this article, I will be listing the 10 signs of a toxic relationship, stay read.
10 signs of a Toxic Relationship Should not Ignore
1. You don’t Feel Safe.
Being safe with your partner in courtship is one of the keys to a happy and healthy relationship – when your safety is no longer guaranteed then it is a toxic one.
When you can not have a trusted conversation with your partner, your thought and feelings become a thing that you keep to yourself.
When your say is no longer a concern, scared of how you will be judged when you are been sincere to your thoughts – it is a toxic relationship
A good relationship allows you to express your imperfections and gives you space to be responsible with no judgement. A healthy relationship allows you to communicate about anything and everything.
In a healthy relationship, you gist like best friends, with no fear of hurting and you will love and be loved back. Not being able to tell your partner about your deep feelings, or how your day went, is a no-no. Your safety in courtship should be at the maximum, having that partner who watches your back always is the aim.
2. Low Communication
Effective communication is a strong connection and of course the heartthrob in a relationship. I like partners who have a strong communication bond, you are open to each other, and your gist is so calm and easygoing.
Two (2) of my friends want to be in a relationship; the guy said he would hire his friend to communicate with the girlfriend. His reasons: he doesn’t have the time, what will he be talking about?
If communication doesn’t flow naturally – then I dont know what will. A relationship is a lot of work – your time, energy, and finance, you have to build the bond for the future.
Until you decide to connect with your partner stay in your lane. So you do not end up putting your hurts, needs, and expectations to the ground.
Sometimes, a heart-to-heart conversation activates the love you have for each other. Low conversation leads to resentment, emotional fierce, and a cold silence. Some low communication can also be gaslighting, abusive words and unruly judgement with no clarity whatsoever becomes the other of the day.
3. You are Been Ignored
The thing about being in a toxic relationship is that your partner does not recognise you, what you do, or what you say. To s/he, your opinion does not count, I mean you can possibly have to say.
He doesn’t see the basic things of you, s/he assumes that you are not important. When you are in a relationship, you should be better than when you are not but if the reverse becomes the case then you are in a toxic courtship.
Ignoring your partner is a toxic act in a relationship – no one would ignore who they profess love to; no matter how busy you are you would always want to communicate with s/he. It is either there is a conversation or there is none at all.
4. You are Losing Yourself
An unhealthy relationship does not grow, it does not give peace, it is controlling, self-centred, domineering, etc. They will want you to always do things to please them to the sediment of your own happiness. Toxic people never have your interest at heart no matter how you try.
Sometimes if not most time, you will see yourself doing the things that ordinarily you would not want to do – you want to please them. You can’t even be yourself anymore, your social life is shattered, and you don’t feel yourself anymore.
However, as humans, it is up to you to know these toxic signs from the other partner and address them. Of course, it’s not easy to see it or address it especially if you truly live with this partner. When you set your boundaries and want to live your values, a toxic person wouldn’t let you.
It is in your place to stand to yourself, and appreciate yourself that you deserve better and not the toxicity that you get from your partner. You should have good friends you can speak to, who can help you to build your self-esteem, self-worth, self-values, etc.
5. Always Being Judged
Believe it, no one likes to be judged either in a relationship, workspace, school, gathering or what have you. Though you can have the strange things that you do and of course, life could be challenging and fun.
If you are always being judged or misunderstood in a relationship – it is a toxic one. Being with someone should be void of judgement, your partner should be able to protect your sanity.
It’s okay to mess up and be cleaned up, somethings your partner can hurt you unknowingly but it is up to you to tell them how you feel about it with no judgement.
Mind you, you need to be with someone who cares enough as much as you do, who sees beyond your flaws, and who knows how to calm your curiosity.
A toxic person is never accountable and responsible for their actions, always looking for who to put the blame on.
A toxic person will use your past baggage to weigh you down – s/ he derives joy to see you hurt.
6. You are Being Let-Down
A lot of people in a relationship are not been recognised – they are being let down because of being with a toxic person. How does s/he make you feel? Does s/he make you feel you are worthless?
Dating a toxic person will make you see other people dating a toxic person as well. Until you are close to people, you wouldn’t know the level of their toxicity. Until you are close to some people, you wouldn’t know the level of their kindness. There are people that you will be with, and life will be so easy and fun for you.
7. You are Controlled
An unhealthy relationship is when the other party feels he has to control your every move – you don’t have the right to say anything but to do their bidding.
Your happiness is not their business, they manipulate your entire being to the extent that you will think that is how a relationship should be.
A toxic person will not want you to keep friends – they will be scared that your friends could come for them. If this is the case that you have been through then it is a sign that you are in a toxic relationship.
8. You Live in a Hostile Hostage Environment.
It is true that our environment influences us positively or negatively. When you see someone who lives in a hostile environment, you can spot them.
But some of these hostile hostage relationships are being protected by the victims – you see a girl in a hustle relationship being defensive of the man because she feels that is how a relationship or love should be.
There are girls that go through beatings in their relationship afterwards, they make up with their man – and before you would say anything to them, they are already being defensive thereby making you a fool.
If this kind of toxic courtship is now a daily routine in your relationship, it is good you address it or walk away for your sanity.
9. Being Unsupportive
A good relationship is based on supporting each other in everything and anything to make the relationship work.
For a good relationship, you should support your partner’s goals, dreams, careers and of course vision.
A healthy relationship is rooted in a mutual need to support each other to win in every aspect of life. A healthy relationship cherishes the times that you spend together, making it worthwhile.
A toxic relationship will be too jealous to want to see you win, or raise shoulders with you. A toxic relationship is self-fish come what may your happiness is not important at all.
A toxic courtship will give you the intention that your needs, or contributions are not important nor does it matter leaving you with the feeling that nothing good can come out of you.
10. Holding grudges and stress
This part is what still baffles me when it comes to a relationship. How do you manage to keep not talking to each other in the same room?
A healthy courtship can not keep a grudge for more than a day, it is either you are talking it out or you are letting it go.
A healthy connection is built on friendship – it is not about how long you have known each other but how well; it is who wants you to know s/he that you will know.
A toxic courtship holds grudges for as long as they want. A toxic courtship knows how to bottle up feelings because of pride to apologise.
A toxic courtship will stress the living hell out of you, you will sweat for unnecessaries. Such stress can disorganise you mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Understand How to Build a Healthy Relationship
Being in a relationship is a beautiful place provided your goals align.
However, you should be the kind of person that you want to meet – Good attracts good and you should know exactly what you want. Of course, dating someone is not all that rosy, yes there are ups and downs and maturity maintains the rosy and downs.
Some people cannot function in unhealthy courtship and it could be true that some people like it toxic as well. Whichever one you are in or want to choose, ensure it doesn’t distort your peace.
Toxic conversation and attitude charts will break and rot the courtship that you have built for years and of course, one tree doesn’t make a forest – two partners must get to work it out.
If you want to make a change with your partner, a relationship coach is there to guide you on whatsoever the challenges might be. Some partner wants to build a good relationship but does not know how to go about it thereby settling for less.
A good relationship is where two partners are ready to sacrifice for each other so they can fulfil their long goals.
One person can not do all of the heavy liftings alone, you need each other to stand.
Do not make sacrifices alone, from activities to long-term goals, dreams and aspirations to happiness. That is why it is called a relationship – two (2) persons coming together with the aim of supporting each other.
Some unhealthy relationships can be a result of past emotional baggage – you need to heal from this to have a healthy relationship; which will take a lot of positive energy, support, and love from both parties.